Self Defeating Behaviors in Business

The 20 most common self defeating behaviors in business (adapted from a list by Dr. Mark Goulston)

1. Procrastinating – If you are always late on completing things, people stop relying on you; soon they start resenting you.

2. Getting involved with the wrong people - Yes, there are bad people in the world. If you keep giving them the benefit of the doubt, you’ll be the one who has to clean up the mess.

3. Saying yes when you want to say no – It will result in burnout, loss of credibility, and loss of respect from others and yourself.

4. Assuming others don’t want anything in return – It is human nature to almost always want something in return, even when people say they don’t. Thinking ahead about what that might be can save you problems when others try to collect.

5. Playing it safe – The world is in a rapid state of change. Doing the same old thing over and over and expecting it to be good enough may turn out not to be so safe after all.

6. Always having to be right – Know-it-alls who don’t know what they are talking about are jerks; whereas know-it-alls who do know what they are talking about are merely asses. Always having to be right can create so much resentment that you’d be better always be right, because you are building a constituency of people who can’t wait to see you fall on your face.

7. Focusing on what others are doing wrong – this is a demotivating habit. Focusing on what other people are doing makes it difficult for you to keep trying hard.

8. Not learning from your mistakes – Successful people don’t make fewer mistakes than unsuccessful people, but they repeat fewer mistakes.

9. Talking when nobody’s listening – This leads you to think that what you have said is going to be done, when in fact it is not. To make matters worse, you have to repeat the entire process. And this time you are going to be angry.

10. Taking things too personally – When people take criticism too personally, instead of seeing that it is about fixing a problem, the problem becomes larger and takes longer to fix.

11. Having unrealistic expectations – When you confuse what is responsible with what is realistic (it is reasonable to want to re-engineer your business; it is not reasonable to do it all at once), you set yourself up to fail.

12. Trying to take care of everybody – You can’t take care of everybody and do a decent job. In attempting to take care of everyone, nobody, including yourself, will be satisfied.

13. Refusing to “play games” – Some politics, schmoozing, and small talk are all necessary in order to succeed.

14. Playing too many games – While some politics, schmoozing, and small talk are all necessary in order to succeed, insincere, dishonest, deceptive, or excessive engagement in these activities can have very negative consequences.

15. Being envious of others – Teamwork is ruined when team members envy each other to the extent that they root against each other.

16. Quitting too soon – You have more control over trying or quitting than over success or failure. If you always quit, you will never succeed; if you always try, you will eventually succeed.

17. Letting fear run your life – You need to have complete control over your life and emotions. Face your fears head on. Do not run from them.

18. Not moving on after a loss – When you spend more time not cutting your losses than you do moving ahead, you cannot move forward.

19. Not asking for what you need – What is important to you is not necessarily important to others. If you don’t ask for what you need – whether it’s something to help you do your job, or a promotion, you are leaving it to other people’s imaginations. If you think your well being is a high priority to them, you have a good imagination.

20. Failing to communicate – Sharing information, truly listening to and caring about the views of others, and gathering others’ views are all necessary to become professionally effective.